Judgement

In general, I try not be judgemental.  I see parents making choices I wouldn't make, and I try to remind myself that I don't know their children or their lives, so I can't judge their choices.  I see wives speaking meanly to their husbands, and I try to remind myself that I can't judge that choice; I don't see what goes on at home.  I see people who choose not to care for themselves, and I try to remind myself that I haven't lived their life; in their situation I might also feel hopeless or useless. 

But I know that, when it comes down to it, I CAN be judgemental.  Despite trying to remember that it's not my place, I've judged women when I hear their harsh words... I've judged parents when I see the movies their kids watch... I've judged co-workers who don't seem to put 100% into their students...

So when I was judged recently, it hit me hard.  Someone judged our choice of toy for Nicholas.  Something petty, I know... but I instantly found myself wanting to go on the defensive.  I, in no way, feel guilty that our 5 year old has a Nintendo DS.  It serves a purpose.  He gets to play it once a month or so when we drive to Bakersfield, and then, he usually only gets to play it 1 way.  The rest of the time he draws on his writing pad or plays with his white board binder or tag pen and books.  On the rare occasion we travel somewhere farther away than Bakersfield, he can play it for the road trip part.  It's no worse than sitting your child in front of a DVD player in the car, right?  He DOES have Mario Kart, but he also has Magic School Bus Oceans and is getting ISpy Universe for Christmas.  As educational as some of the other products on the market?  No, but he has educational games for it... but, but, but see... I'm already getting defensive  :P

Honestly, it may have been "that time of the month," but for some reason I really took that judgement to heart... and I think that was good.  While I'm sure I'm judged more often, I rarely hear of it and what you don't know doesn't hurt you.  This time, I did hear, and it did hurt, and it really made me think.  I'm not called to judge.  I'm called to love.  So while I'll never be perfect in this department, it's made me want to try harder not to judge the choices of others.  Not only is it not my job, but I also know how it feels and really, I don't want to be the cause of someone feeling like that.  We're all just trying to live each day doing the best we can... that won't look the same for everyone... and that's okay :)

Politics & Religion

I found a link a while back that I fell in love with... it discussed 7 things Christians need to remember about politics.  I found it well written and full of truth... heck, I WANTED to print it out and mail it to quite a few people we know who love bashing the candidates or who refuse to fact check anything (but I refrained ;).  The more I thought about it, I really wanted to add my own thoughts to it... so here goes... I'm using their 7 points and adding to them... PLEASE click the link above.  I'd post their article and just add mine in italics, but I'm sure that would lead to copyright infridgement of some sort...

1. Both political parties go to church. This is 100% true.  Voting republican doesn't make you more Christian and voting democrat doesn't make you less Christian.  Both parties can appeal to aspects of religion.  The republicans are typically against abortion and same-sex marriage... the democrats tend to support more charity in terms of helping the poor and the struggling.  In reality, the "perfect" Christian political party is a blend of them both and doesn't exist.  Don't make the assumption based on someone's religion that they should vote a certain way... it's insulting.

2. Political talk radio and cable “news” only want ratings.  If you watch any of the news channels and take what they say as fact, you're fooling yourself.  Just because Fox said Obama is Muslim and MSNBC said Romney is going to ban divorce doesn't make it true.  Not only do they contridict themselves all the time, they are known for reporting things that are flat out wrong.  Anyone remember the supreme court decision where they only read the first page and spend half an hour reporting the wrong verdict?  I'm not saying don't watch the news... I'm saying watch it knowing that their goal is to get you to keep watching to make them money.  I've turned to watching Jon Stewart for political entertainment and turning to international news sources for everything else (though they are, of course, also flawed).

3. Those who argue over politics don’t love their country more than others.  On the same note... please stop looking at "tokens" and deciding who is "patriotic" based on that.  I'm so tired of hearing about things like who wears a flag pin...

4. Thinking your party’s platform is unflawed is a mistake.  This is so true.  Heck, Romney doesn't even agree with all of the Republican platform as presented at their convention.  Platforms are maleable... they change every year and, over time, can even change drastically.  The democratic platform of 50 years ago looks absolutely nothing like it does now.  If Regan were running for office today, his views would align more than with democrats than the current republican party.  Platforms are just like the men who write them, imperfect.

5. Scripture tells us to pray for our governing leaders (2 Timothy 2:1-4) and to respect those in authority (Romans 13:1-7).   I love that they listed the scripture references here.  All of those memes calling Obama a Muslim or making fun of Romney for his religion?  That isn't Biblical.  The Bible tells us a few things regarding politics, and what stood out to me most is that it says that ALL leaders are put in place by God and that we are to respect and honor them.  Does that mean they're perfect?  No... but it does mean that we have to trust that God knows what He's doing when HE allows them to be voted into office or gain the influence to run for office.  When you bash either candidate, calling them names, spewing hate, reposting untruthful posters/pictures/memes... you're dishonoring God.  He wants you to pray for them, whether you wanted them in office or not... he wants you to listen to what they have to say, whether you agree with it or not... I'm not saying you don't do something about it.  If I disagree with a piece of legislation, especially if on religious grounds, then I should go through the proper channels to make my respectful voice heard.

6. Don’t be paranoid. Seriously... The US has had many Presidents over the years... I believe 43... (you have to consider that Grover Cleveland is #22 and 24)... some have made great decisions, some have made bad decisions.  Some have taken us into wars where we saved and liberated people, others have taken us into wars where we pretty much destroyed a country and left.  But that's the beauty of our system... worse case scenario they get 8 years... trust that if God wants America to stand, then it will withstand whichever man takes the oath of office in January.  If God doesn't want America to stand, then it really doesn't matter which guy wins anyway.

7. Teach your children the beauty of our democracy (this one is mine).  On election night, one man is going to stand before a huge TV audience and accept the Presidency, while another conceeds respectfully.  Especially if your guy looses, try to refrain from making disrespectful comments about the new President.  Try to avoid doomsday comments that are exaggerations like "Well, the whole country is going to fall apart now" or "We're all going to hell now..."  Your children are watching, listening, and learning from you.  Remind your kids that, while you thought the other candidate was better suited to run the country, in a democracy everyone gets to vote and we need to respect that.  Remind your kids that God wants us to pray for our President, even if he isn't the man we would have picked, and that if the other man won, then it was God's will.  If your guy wins, remind your kids that even though this time the man we liked won, it doesn't always happen that way and we shouldn't be arrogant or brag.  Most of all, take time to pray with your kids for BOTH men on election night... that God would give wisdom to them both... to help the winner be humble and the looser find comfort.

Camping with an infant...

A few weeks ago we started to pack for a camping trip with some very good friends.  We were super excited about it... we haven't been able to spend time with these friends in a while and we were looking forward to it.  Because this would be the first time I camped with a child under 3, I thought I'd search for advice.  The problem?  Most of the advice I found consisted of "Don't do it!!!!"  That didn't help me... we were camping as a family, whether it was a good idea or not!  We promised ourselves that we wouldn't let Nicholas miss out on things because he had a new little brother. 

I decided that after our trip, I'd post a POSITIVE post about camping with a 6 month old, to encourage other families to just do it!

1.  BRING THE PACK N PLAY!  This was something my husband and I kind of argued over... space was tight in his truck beacuse we were putting a lot of the gear for 7 people in there and the truck isn't all that big.  But I insisted and in a VERY rare moment, he was forced to say "I told you so."  Don't get me wrong... Ryan slept in our sleeping bags with us.  It wasn't too cold for him to be in the pack n play, but it was a different environment with weird sounds and he just slept better with us.  That being said, the pack n play was absolutely essential for his naps and for times when we just both needed to be occupied.  When I was making dinner and Jon was helping Nicholas, Ryan could be in the pack n play. 

2.  BRING A HALF TENT!  We didn't do this, but our friends did and it SAVED us on the beach!!  He was able to stay in the shade and even nap in the half tent!  It was awesome!

3.  BRING A BABY CARRIER!  We didn't bring the stroller but we did bring the carrier and for the longer walks, it was SO nice!  The stroller didn't lend itself well to camping because we were at the beach and strollers + sand = messy and a pain (we learned last beach trip). 

4.  PLAN SUPER EASY MEALS!  We try to eat healthy at home with as little processed foods as possible.  When we were camping, I didn't stress over it.  I did bring grapes, carrots, yogurt, raisins, nuts, and corn... but I also brought sausage, hot dogs, etc... Our friends made delicious and healthy food, and our next trip I'll likely bring healthier options, but for camping with an infant you want meals that are quick, easy, and can be easily made while multi-tasking.  I also got things I don't usually get because they'd be easy to pass out... Gogurt, which my 5 year old begs for regularly but I don't usually buy because it's more expensive than just a carton of yogurt... Cheese sticks, which I don't usually buy because it's easy enough to just cut a few slices and because if they're available he'll eat the whole package in one sitting. 

5.  BRING COFFEE!  Our friends brought Starbucks via.  We brought a coffee press.  Whatever you bring... BRING COFFEE!  If you don't drink coffee, you'll start when camping with an infant :P

6.  Lastly... BE FLEXIBLE!  Ryan napped for maybe an hour all day... he normally takes 2-3 long naps.  He ate randomly, he normally eats on a solid schedule.  He ate no solids while we were on the trip, he normally has a big dinner.  I was a little worried that when we got home it'd take forever to get him back to normal.  It didn't... it took no time at all.  Also, it helped that I was nursing, but that I also don't stress over a little formula.  In that regard, everyone do whatever you're most comfortable with... but it was nice to be able to mix a bottle of formula here and there... it didn't impact my supply or his nursing schedule when we got home.

I'm a different mom this time around...

Everyone is different… and all of our kids are different.  In fact, now that I have two boys, I can tell you that they are polar opposites.  In some ways, this is nice.  It means that while Nicholas never (and I mean never) slept… Ryan sleeps like a dream.  He’s never kept us up all night (literally never, not a single night) and has always slept for 3-4 hour stretches minimum at night. Nicholas was a total daddy’s boy… Ryan freaks out of he cries and I’m not there.   It also means that when Nicholas did wonderfully on his first day of kinder, I sighed because I’m sure that means that Ryan will have a hard time adjusting.  It just seems like they’re complete opposites. 

I’m also a different mom this time around.  I wouldn’t say an opposite, but raising Nicholas has taught me a LOT.  So much so, in fact, that I feel exponentially guilty because Nicholas had it so much worse than Ryan has or will.  Nicholas taught me patience… the hard way… Ryan will benefit from me having already had that lesson.  There are a lot of things I do differently now that I wish I had done with Nick…

1.        Babies grow up.  It’s a fact of life.  No matter how much we may want them to stay teeny-tiny, they don’t.  They get longer, they gain weight… if they’re like my babies, they turn into little mini-me versions of the Michellin Man.  The point?  We don’t need to push it along.  With Nicholas I was involved in some message boards that I thought were helping me.  It was a good support system for a military spouse who had little friends around me, right?  It was great to bounce ideas off other moms and get an idea of where my child was or should be, right?  For ME, that was wrong.  The message boards were a constant reminder of what other babies were doing… how other babies were developing or how other babies were growing.  The problem was that I was a mom to Nicholas, not to other babies.  I pushed Nicholas to do things early or “on time” according to experts that I now ignore.  I can honestly say he was sitting unassisted before 5 months.  I can also honestly say that it made absolutely no difference.  With Ryan not only do I not push him to do things, I enjoy and relish the fact that he’s still so little (figuratively, of course, if you’ve seen my child you know he’s huge).  They won’t go to kindergarten not sitting up or saying “mama.”  They all get there eventually… enjoy it if yours takes longer J

2.       There is no “right” way to parent.  That’s another reason I stay away from message boards (aside from BOS which is completely different :P).  I don’t care what the experts say… whether you steam mass quantities of veggies and make your own puree, or you pick up Gerber 2-packs at Wal-Mart, your child will be fine.  Whether you breastfeed for 3 years or formula feed from day 1… your child will be fine.  Whether you CIO at 6 months or co-sleep… your child will be fine.  And most importantly, none of these things make you a superior mother compared to the woman next door.  I don’t say this like the things we do don’t impact our kids… of course they do.  But in the overall scheme of life… there are much more important things to be worrying about.  Are we teaching our children to have compassion for others?  Are we teaching our children to consider the needs of those around them?  Are we teaching our children to forgive and show mercy?  For me, am I teaching my son to obey God and not give in to the temptations of the world?  Because when it comes down to it, no productive member of society ever looked back and said “I want to give thanks to my mom, because if she hadn’t pureed my first foods herself, I’d never be where I am today.”  Now, I have a LOT of friends who do make their own baby food, breastfeed children for 2 years or more, and co-sleep… please know that I’m in NO way saying these are bad things.  Heck, I breastfeed and co-sleep AND CIO.  I’m saying that we need to consider our options, do our research if we feel necessary, make our choices, and then move on without judging those who come to different conclusions.  I stressed over every.single.decision I made for Nicholas and, looking back, I feel like I didn’t get to enjoy his infancy & toddlerhood as much because of it. 

3.       Ignore the experts.  Or at least, remember that the experts never studied your kids.  I’ve been trying to remember all the things “they” say will forever harm your kids.  I remember that one thing was juice.  Never, and I mean never, give your child juice.  Then they will never drink water and will only drink sugary things that are horrible for their bodies and will make them fat.  Yeah.  They forgot to toss in that word, moderation.  I remember having someone look at me in complete shock when I gave my 1-year old a sippy cup of diluted juice.  I remember another mom proudly telling me that her kids had never drank anything in their lives except water and milk.  Congrats.  My kid had juice.  And today?  He’s a healthy child (of healthy weight) who drinks water about 75% of the time.

I’m learning daily and we still have bad days.  I’ve learned that I babied Nicholas too much and now I’m paying for it… so is he as we have to teach him to be a little less sensitive so he isn’t eaten alive by the world.  There are days when, at bedtime, I have to apologize for being cranky and impatient with Nick.  But you know what?  He knows that his mom is real… she’s human… she works hard every day to take care of him, love him, and teach him.  She tries to be an example of living for God each day… but she fails… and when she does, she apologizes and tries harder.  I hope and pray that as he gets older, he learns that life isn’t about being perfect… it’s about trying your best every single day… being humble enough to admit when you’re wrong and courageous enough to never, ever give up.

 

Dr. Seuss, Hot Rods, Putin, & Easter

{Warning - I'm pregnant, due in 3 days, and bored - This may get long...}

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!  Seriously, there is no better kid's author out there.  Yes, there are many others that we love and cherish, like the Bernsteins (so sad to see Jan passed) and Mercer Meyer...but Dr. Seuss is the best of the best!  Jon and I started collecting his books before we were even pregnant with Nick!  There are still a few that we need, but for the most part, we have all the greats!  I could do an entire post just about his awesome quotes!  I'm thankful for any author that has the ability to capture the imagination of a child and make him/her excited about reading!

Every year Famoso does 2 major events... the March Meet & the Hot Rod Reunion.  We (especially Nick) LOVE these events.  Not only does he get to spend time with Grandma and Papa, but he gets to see more hot rods than his little eyes can take in and hours upon hours of drag racing (the only kind he really likes; he doesn't like oval tracks).  This year?  We're staying home.  Thankfully, he doesn't actually know that.  He doesn't know that right now they're doing test and tune and that tonight and tomorrow start qualifying.  He doesn't know that the jet car will probably run tomorrow night or that he could be playing cars with the other little boys.  But I know that.  And it makes me sad... because I'm the reason we can't go.  I tried telling myself it's not THAT far... but it is... especially if I'm due on Monday.  I also tried convincing Jon to take Nick... but not only is he way too nice of a husband to go nearly 2 hours away days before I'm due, I also must admit that I'd rather him not.

Sunday is the election in Russia.  Should be interesting.  Putin obviously wants to avoid a run-off, but he also needs SOME amount of legitimacy and most of the world knows he'll have a hard time avoiding a run-off without some rigging, bribing, and threatening.  Oh, who are we kidding.  Legitimacy is for the birds!  This is the guy that sent a PROXY to debate FOR him because he can't be bothered to actually let Russians see him be potentially vunerable.  They're already starting to find voter fraud plots.  Lord knows there were plenty in their primary!  Either way, if there happens to be another dork out there who's interested, The Moscow Times is probably your best resource.  I'm not saying it's 100% unbiased, but it's the best you'll find in English ;)

Yes, Easter is still 5 weeks away.  Even so, I'm already wishing that Nicholas' friends lived closer.  He has friends at school, but I don't know their parents so I'm not really up for inviting them all over.  Most of his close friends are back in Bakersfield.  Last year I bought extra dying kits on super clearance and I wanted to have an egg dying party and bring out his Resurrection Eggs.  Fun, easter themed goodies... maybe around April 1st-ish.  We'll see.  I guess I may be getting a little overanxious seeing as I will still have a newborn on my hands. 

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Happy Leap Day!!!  Hope everyone is enjoying the extra day that we get this year!  Admittedly, I would love to celebrate with a new little one making his appearance, but it's looking more and more like he REALLY wants to be a March baby :P

Sacred Marriage

So far I'm really enjoying this book!  I picked it up at a MOPS meeting a while back, and I keep it in my purse for when I have a break in the day.  I love how it gives marriage a Biblical perspective and discusses why marriage isn't just about making us happy. 

Folgers Decaf Coffee

Thank goodness for decaf coffee!  I sometimes mix it with regular coffee for a 1/2 caffenated coffee... then I can have more than a cup and I get a little bit of caffiene.  Either way, it's a delicious and welcome way to start the morning!

Brown Rice

I admit, I used to be scared of cooking rice.  I'd buy the boil-in-a-bag because the first time I tried to steam my own rice, I burned it horribly.  Then I bought a cheap rice steamer but rarely used it because it didn't do that good of a job.  I finally perfected cooking white rice, so I make cilantro-lime rice, rice pilaf, and teriyaki rice sometimes... but Jon asked me to try brown rice.  I know it's healthier, but I don't know, it just didn't look as appealing.  I made it anyway though, and it's really good and I love knowing that it's a little more nutritious.  If I'm making rice anyway, I might as well make the healthier stuff.  I won't substitute it when I'm making lime-cilantro rice, but it makes yummy rice pilaf!  I just have to remember take it takes 3 times as long to cook!

No baby, but loving 1 John!

I haven't blogged in a week, and I wish I could say it's because I was busy having a baby, but no such luck.  Just as I have for the past 3 weeks, I have contractions all day (all braxton hicks of various strength) and other "signs of impending labor," but then night comes and once I lay in bed and fall asleep, it mostly calms down.  The good thing about this?  The false labor exhausts me all day so that by the time I go to bed, I actually sleep relatively well (despite getting up to pee every 1-2 hours, haha!).  God also humbled me a lot last week after I took Jon some lunch and was wishing that would be "the day."  It was a crazy day at work for him and it hit me that God isn't just planning for me to have this baby so I can get more comfortable, but that labor & delivery will be impacting MANY lives and our God is wise enough to know the best time for the overall picture, not just my selfish and self-focused desires.

We are 39 weeks today, and I keep reminding myself that before I was even created, Baby Monkey's birthday was picked out for a distinct and perfect purpose :)  I'm thankful that despite all the specialist appointments and worries, this little guy is 100% full term!  I'm also nervous that he's going to be quite a bit bigger than Nick (7 lbs 6 oz), because I've gained more weight this pregnancy and I'm bigger... but I know my body was made to do this and if God has made him a large baby, then I'm sure my body will handle it.

Our church is still going through 1 Corinthians but yesterday made a quick mid-sermon detour to 1 John and because I LOVE 1 John, I've been wanting to journal about it a bit.  I went ahead and just linked to Bible Gateway because if I copied all the scripture I want to copy from 1 John, I'd ctrl+V the entire book :)

Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness

What I love about this book is that, while convicting, it's also pretty clarifying.  Matthew 7:22-23 paints a scary picture... it tells us that many will stand before Him and say that that they knew Him and did great works in His name... and yet they will be turned away.  So how do we know if we're in that group?  How do I know if I will stand before Christ and be welcomed or sent aside?  1 John kind of goes into that.  In it, the author (not entirely clear who he is, though many say John the Apostle) says two things that always hit me hard. 

First, he talks about how if we say we're without sin, we don't have the truth (1 John 1:8-10).  We're decieving ourselves.  I like this because a major issue a lot of people have with "the church" is that it is hypocritical and arrogant... with a holier than thou attitude.  1 John tells us that those attitudes that TRY to say "I have no sin" actually mean the opposite... that you do.  If you really had the truth, you wouldn't act as if you were sinless, because you would be humble and wise enough to know that we have all sinned and all continue to sin.  I don't say that we continue IN sin, I say that we continue TO sin.  The analogy the pastor made was a good one... he used to run a lot, but he no longer does so regularly so he wouldn't want to be considered a "runner."  I may have been a drinker in the past, and it may still tempt me at times and I may stumble, but I'm no longer a "drinker."  You may have been incredibly self-focused in the past, and you may still have moments where you catch yourself doing so again, but you repent and renew your efforts to stop.  You're no longer living IN sin, but that doesn't mean that you never sin. 

The second part that always hits me hard has to do with the concept of living IN sin.  Throughout the rest of the book (which is short!) the author talks about how those who DO continue to live in sin, live in darkness.  They know OF Jesus and His sacrifice... they acknowledge it, but they don't have it inside them.  His love is complete inside those who obey His word.  Those who see His truth, take it in, and then live in out.  He says that you know if you have Him in you because when you really have Him in you, can't go on in your life of sin.  You just can't.  This is always convicting and while I hope to get closer and closer to living as Christ did as I grow, I hope it's always convicting.  There will always be parts of me that God needs to sharpen and refine... but I also know that as I grow in Christ, I will be unable to hold on to a lifestyle of greed or selfishness... because when you have Christ in you, the fruit shows.  You can't force the fruit from your heart anymore than you can force it from a tree... but you can tend to the tree and tend to your heart through a lifestyle of prayer, obedience, etc... so that the fruit grows outside of your power.

Our pastor finished with a question that I thought was pretty good.  Did you make a decision, or the decision?  Did you acknowledge what Jesus did, or did you take in it and let it change you? 

I'm NOT a Bible scholar... I don't have any training in theology and I'm forced to rely on English translations because I can't read Greek or Hebrew or Aramaic.  This isn't meant to spark debate on what 1 John means or says... it's just what's on my heart and it's what I feel when I read a powerful book in our Bible.