Stream of Consciousness Sunday

I feel like my relationship with God isn't where it should be.  I feel like I neglect it so much.  At MOPS they talked about putting things in order... God, Spouse, Kids... I feel like my life is a big balancing act between Spouse and Kids... with God coming in a far third on where I place my time, effort, and energy.  It's not fair... not fair at all.  He deserves so much more from me. 

Then I've also felt really strongly the past week that God wants me to focus on humbling myself.  Humbling myself to Him (because, as our Pastor said this morning, you can either humble yourself or be humbled, regardless, it WILL happen)... humbling myself to my husband... humbling myself in all those situations where I think I'm right so I try to prove myself.  I feel like God is saying "No, I don't want to to do that..."

It's especially hard when I feel judged.  Most parents know that feeling... like every other mom is always judging you for how you raise your kids.  If they don't spank, then you're judged if you do (or vice versa).  If they didn't have an epidural, then you're judged if you do (and vice versa).  If they have their way of parenting that's different from yours, then you're judged... women like to judge... we judge on breastfeeding, being in enough activities, or too many activities, how healthy our kids eat, etc...  It's then that I feel like I have to justify myself.  I feel like God is saying "Just stop... you prayed for wisdom on how to raise Nick... I gave it to you... and it's not the same guidance as I give others... and that's okay."

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post below.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Hosted by All Things Fadra though I got the idea from Kallay!