A week ago I made an amazing discovery... I learned how to put sermons on my phone. This is extremely helpful, as sometimes life gets crazy and we miss church. In the past week I was able to catch up on our Generations series which is, by the way, incredible. While there are times when I wish my church offered MOPS or Awanas... I feel that God has used the teaching at my church to help me to grow and I'm so thankful for that!
In the sermon on Job, our pastor challenged us to think differently in hard times. Instead of our natural reaction of asking "Why," we should try asking "What?" as in "What is God teaching me through this struggle?" or "Who?" as in "Who is really in control right now?" So it got me thinking, what is God trying to teach me right now... because I believe I'm exactly where I am for a purpose... to learn something that will help me grow as a daughter of Christ.
I think He's trying to teach me to let up on Nicholas and stop looking left and right to compare. In the past (I think I'm getting better) I've had a nasty habit of comparing him to other children. He was much more rambunctious as a toddler than my friend's children were and I got on him about it a lot... he has a sensitive side that I definitely get on him about... and I worry a lot about how he's doing at school. It's an area where I loose all control... I can't be there watching to make sure he's doing things correctly or behaving properly. I have to trust that the past 5 years I've taught him enough to be respectful to his teachers and peers and pray that he learns something academic while he's at it. He got his report card on Monday and he's doing wonderful... he scored "4s" on everything they tested for this grading period and is reading at the level they want him to be at before 1st grade. He's fine... and I feel like this was yet another time God said "See, now let up on the poor kid." I think there's a balance that I've yet to achieve... the balance between being strict to teach respect, responsibility, and build character... and letting kids be kids and solve their own problems and make their own mistakes. I think God is trying to teach me that... in doing so, I think He's helping me to mother a little boy who will grow up into a stronger man. I feel like God has spent a lot of time reminding me that my job is NOT to mold Nicholas into a child who does the things I think he's supposed to do or accomplishes the things our culture says he should... my job is to train Nicholas to follow God and fulfill His purpose... end of story. My parenting needs to clearly reflect that.
I think God is trying to teach me generosity. I won't get into it online, but I really feel like God has put circumstances in my life specifically to teach me compassion, generosity, and selflessness. It's humbling when you think that you're already compassionate, generous, and selfless and then God throws something into your life that makes it glaringly obvious that you're not those things.
What is God teaching you right now? What is He teaching you through struggle? Through achievement? Through celebration?
