It's been a few weeks...

It's been a few weeks since I wrote, so I figured I'd give a quick update...

We got moved into our new home in Clovis and I am SO thankful to God for this house!  It meets all of our needs and them some!  It has a large living room, a great dining area with bay windows and tile floors (a must with a 3-year old!), a split wing floor plan (for obvious reasons :), and a back yard!  It's not huge, but it's more than big enough for our family!  So far I've just been overwhelmed with appreciation for the home Jon found for us.  I know he was nervous about me liking it because I didn't see it until the day we moved in (aside from video from the wonderful Michael Wanke!)... but he didn't need to worry... I love it!  I love this area as well, and Jon and I are hoping that if we buy a home next year, we're able to stay around here!

We have attended our new church twice now and I really like that as well!  Nicholas gets SO excited about going to chapel and loves the kids program.  It's almost identical to the program at the Bridge that I loved, so I'm really thankful for that!  I'm trying to get us plugged into a LifeGroup as soon as we can find childcare once a week that we're comfortable with.

I'm officially employed by the Fresno Unified School District as a sub.  I've never had to interview to be a sub before, but I'm thankful that I was able to get into the system.  Jon is buying a little car from the Wanke's tomorrow night, so then we'll be looking for a M/W/F preschool for Nick for when I'm subbing. 

I'm just overwhelmed with seeing God work in our home.  I've been making sure to take time with God every day, even if it means Nicholas watches a little more cartoons.  I can definitely see it making an impact.  God is really showing me wonderful things through the life of David. I'm doing a reading plan that takes you through the Bible chronologically... I guess it fits the historian side of me!  It's so cool though... I'm seeing which Psalms go to different times in David's life.  It's really really cool and gives the Word more meaning for me!

It's bath time, but I just have to say that I'm seeing firsthand how obedience to God provides you peace.  I know, without question, that we're where God wants us.  I know that when we prayed for guidance, God provided.  And I know that if we continue to be obedient, God is going to work everything out!

Trying to let go of myself...

This afternoon was frustrating... very frustrating.  I had my pre-out appt with BK Property Management.  I knew the carpets were bad; I've already scheduled to have someone come and do them.  I knew I had to replace one set of blinds; no big deal.  But they're telling me I have to replace (or pay to replace) Nicholas' bathroom door because it has a slight crack in the molding.  I also have to acid wash (or pay to acid wash) the grout in the kitchen.

The reason why I'm so frustrated is because (1) I can already tell that they're going to nickle and dime my deposit until it's gone and (2) the company is just unprofessional.  This was appointment number two.  Appointment number one was rescheduled because they forgot it... and they forgot appointment number two, but I called to remind them when they were 15 minutes late.

But I'm trying to let go of my selfishness and focus UP.  Yes... I have a $1000 deposit that I want back.  Yes, that would cover a new refridgerator (rental house doesn't have one).  Yes, it would cover Christmas.  But it's not my money.  That's the point that I'm trying to drive home to myself.  Everything I have (or don't have) is because of God.  If HE believes that I need the money from my deposit back, then all of my hard work and elbow grease will pay off.  If HE believe that it's better for me to not recieve back the money... then I won't.  It's that simple.  So far, he has provided for EVERYTHING that we need.  Really, it's beyond amazing how good He has been to us.  When things would have been tight because of moving expenses, he gives us a super cheap PG&E bill (total shocker after the issues we've had), a discount on a rental truck, and even more things I could name.  He always supplies our needs...

So will I try to get as much back as possible?  Of course.  But I'm also really trying to trust that it's not worth getting angry or bitter or mean about... that God's will is perfect and divine and AMAZING.  When I let myself get anger, bitter, and mean... I stop being the person I want to be and the person that I want others to see.  Maybe it's time for me to show others the grace that Christ has shown me.

I just don't understand...

Seriously... what are people teaching their kids today?  The past few weeks have shown an increase media awareness of the hate crimes in our country.  Most recently, a young boy in Techachapi and a student at Rutgers committed suicide after being harassed and tormented over their sexuality.

Now I'll be completely upfront and probably loose a few friends in the process.  I believe homosexuality is wrong.  I believe that God intended physical intimacy to be between a man and a woman.  I believe what the Bible says when it terms homosexuality a sin.

I also believe the Bible when it says that sin is sin and that ALL sins are equal.  My sin of coveting my neighbor's things is no better or worse or less damning.  I've definitely lacked in the "honoring your father and mother" in my past and I'm sure I've taken the Lord's name in vain.  Which means that unless I'm going to get harrassed and socially damned for coveting my friend's house... this is all ridiculous.  We ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God.  NONE of us are flawless or perfect.  So what makes us think that we can judge someone for their choices.  Do we want to make OUR walk an open book?  I sure as heck don't.  I work daily to live my life for God but I fall short regularly and the LAST thing that is going to help me is someone treating me like crap for it. 

Fine... if you want to choose the verses of the Bible that say not to "break bread" with those who are living an ungodly lifestyle... then don't.  But trying to push your idea of what they should be through harrassment, violence, and outright cruelty is unacceptable.  When Jesus came He gave us two "new" commandments... love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind... and love your neighbor as yourself.  Is the Christian community today obeying Christ?  I'm starting to wonder...

And when it comes to kids?  Monkey see... monkey do.  Yes, kids do learn hate from other kids... but hate that is cruel often starts at a much more intimate source.  If you're saying hateful things, your kids pick up on it.

It just makes me sad.  Two sets of parents are mourning the loss of their children who should still be alive.