Trying to let go of myself...

This afternoon was frustrating... very frustrating.  I had my pre-out appt with BK Property Management.  I knew the carpets were bad; I've already scheduled to have someone come and do them.  I knew I had to replace one set of blinds; no big deal.  But they're telling me I have to replace (or pay to replace) Nicholas' bathroom door because it has a slight crack in the molding.  I also have to acid wash (or pay to acid wash) the grout in the kitchen.

The reason why I'm so frustrated is because (1) I can already tell that they're going to nickle and dime my deposit until it's gone and (2) the company is just unprofessional.  This was appointment number two.  Appointment number one was rescheduled because they forgot it... and they forgot appointment number two, but I called to remind them when they were 15 minutes late.

But I'm trying to let go of my selfishness and focus UP.  Yes... I have a $1000 deposit that I want back.  Yes, that would cover a new refridgerator (rental house doesn't have one).  Yes, it would cover Christmas.  But it's not my money.  That's the point that I'm trying to drive home to myself.  Everything I have (or don't have) is because of God.  If HE believes that I need the money from my deposit back, then all of my hard work and elbow grease will pay off.  If HE believe that it's better for me to not recieve back the money... then I won't.  It's that simple.  So far, he has provided for EVERYTHING that we need.  Really, it's beyond amazing how good He has been to us.  When things would have been tight because of moving expenses, he gives us a super cheap PG&E bill (total shocker after the issues we've had), a discount on a rental truck, and even more things I could name.  He always supplies our needs...

So will I try to get as much back as possible?  Of course.  But I'm also really trying to trust that it's not worth getting angry or bitter or mean about... that God's will is perfect and divine and AMAZING.  When I let myself get anger, bitter, and mean... I stop being the person I want to be and the person that I want others to see.  Maybe it's time for me to show others the grace that Christ has shown me.