Happy (one day early) Thanksgiving!!

Happy (one day early) Thanksgiving!

I'm so thankful for the two sons God has given me.  Nicholas is doing wonderfully overall.  He loves school (and cried when I told him he would be missing this week to come to Bakersfield) and is doing well there.  He just blows my mind regularly with the little things that he picks up and I love it.  I can't believe he's starting kindergarten in less than a year!  They only have half day kindergarten at his school, so at least there's a transition period for the mommies ;)

Baby Brother is doing well... he moves constantly and is kind enough to let Nicholas feel him a lot.  He actually moves a lot whenever Nicholas talks to him, which makes Nick feel special.  We had our last baby ultrasound about 5 weeks ago and he was measuring exactly on track, just like his brother did... so it looks like once again the 4'11" woman is going to look horribly massive come the end of February. :P  We are having some mild concerns.  I've been being watched for incompetant cervix and while my measurements have been great, a week ago we had our first not-so-great measurement.  Unfortunately, that also came with a horrible experience with the specialist so today we see a new specialist and take some new measurements.  If they're the same we'll probably just keep seeing the specialist every other week.  They're just concerned that my body might not hold him in as long as he needs to be.  My normal OB said we'll shoot for 34 weeks minimum.  I'm nervous and paranoid, but I'm also trying to remind myself that God created my body to carry this child specifically... that He handpicked this little boy to be our second son... and His will is perfect and must be carried out to the fullest. 

Work is going fine.  As usual, I love what I do, dislike the politics and semantics that come with it.  I know every job is like that, but it kills me because the politics and semantics are hurting our kids' education.  God has used this job as a wake-up call to me.  He's shown me what lack of discipline turns kids into.  Yes, that sounds harsh... but I see every day how important these early years are to Nicholas and Baby Brother's future.  I know my parenting isn't approved by all... people think we're weird for having Nicholas call people by Mr. & Mrs. Lastname even when they're fairly close friends... people think we're horrible because (maybe once every 6 months) Nicholas gets his bottom spanked.  I don't know that everything that we're doing is perfect... but I know that we approach everything we do with Nick with prayer and requests (and begging and pleading shamelessly) for wisdom.  So far, we're confident that we're doing what God wants us to do. 

Do you ever wonder where exactly God wants you? Or feel like you're not quite there yet?

I feel like that lately... it's a weird "what next?" feeling.

So this blog might turn into more of a devotional area.  The format that I like for devotion is SOAP, Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer.  I'm realizing that, frankly, unless I'm willing to give God ample amounts of my time, it's unfair to ask him to direct me.  You build relationships by spending time with people... a relationship with God won't strengthen if I don't give Him time and read His word.  So if you notice SOAP posts soon... that's what it's for :)

Back on the wagon...

Wow... October... I guess life went a bit crazy?

Really, it feels like "crazy" is an understatement.  In early November a friend from the credential program messaged me on Facebook and said "Hey, I noticed a job listing on EdJoin for Fresno."  I checked it out and applied, but at that point I had JUST finished orientation for subbing and figured I'd be subbing until *hopefully* getting a job for the 2011-2012 school year.  In early December I got a call requesting an interview, and then got a call saying the 2nd interview would be during Christmas break.  When nobody called come January, I just assumed I wasn't chosen.  Lo and behold, I DID end up with a 2nd interview and then went before the Board of Supervisors.  In a complete surprise... I started teaching on February 9th!

It was a hectic transition... I was teacher #3.  They had their original teacher, and then a long term substitute who literally did absolutely nothing.  But all things considered, it went very smoothly.  I was pinkslipped March 15th, like thousands of CA teachers, but my district was able to retain me and I will be returning in the Fall!!  I get to teach World Geography, World Geography Accellerated, and AVID (YAY!).  I seriously am SO excited!  I'm spending this summer getting a lot done and I just can't explain how overjoyed I am to be working!!!

Nicholas is now 4 years old.  He just finished what I like to call the "what happened to my sweet little boy" phase that we do about every 6 months, haha.  It seems like every 6 months or so he goes through a few weeks of being more disobedient and whiny, but we just handle it like usual and it fades away.  We seem to be back in the "nice, sweet Nicholas" period.  He's doing very well in pre-school and it's so cool to hear him talk about all of his friends at school.  I can't believe he starts kindergarten next year!

This summer is going to be packed.  This week we're camping, next week Nicholas & I will be back in Bakersfield for Bible Camp at our old church, then a week off before an AVID conference, another week off before an ELD conference, one more week off and then we're back at school!

Overall, God has just been very gracious to us.  He's given us a great son, both of us great jobs, and He's teaching us patience through looking to buy a house.  We serve an AMAZING Father!

It's been a few weeks...

It's been a few weeks since I wrote, so I figured I'd give a quick update...

We got moved into our new home in Clovis and I am SO thankful to God for this house!  It meets all of our needs and them some!  It has a large living room, a great dining area with bay windows and tile floors (a must with a 3-year old!), a split wing floor plan (for obvious reasons :), and a back yard!  It's not huge, but it's more than big enough for our family!  So far I've just been overwhelmed with appreciation for the home Jon found for us.  I know he was nervous about me liking it because I didn't see it until the day we moved in (aside from video from the wonderful Michael Wanke!)... but he didn't need to worry... I love it!  I love this area as well, and Jon and I are hoping that if we buy a home next year, we're able to stay around here!

We have attended our new church twice now and I really like that as well!  Nicholas gets SO excited about going to chapel and loves the kids program.  It's almost identical to the program at the Bridge that I loved, so I'm really thankful for that!  I'm trying to get us plugged into a LifeGroup as soon as we can find childcare once a week that we're comfortable with.

I'm officially employed by the Fresno Unified School District as a sub.  I've never had to interview to be a sub before, but I'm thankful that I was able to get into the system.  Jon is buying a little car from the Wanke's tomorrow night, so then we'll be looking for a M/W/F preschool for Nick for when I'm subbing. 

I'm just overwhelmed with seeing God work in our home.  I've been making sure to take time with God every day, even if it means Nicholas watches a little more cartoons.  I can definitely see it making an impact.  God is really showing me wonderful things through the life of David. I'm doing a reading plan that takes you through the Bible chronologically... I guess it fits the historian side of me!  It's so cool though... I'm seeing which Psalms go to different times in David's life.  It's really really cool and gives the Word more meaning for me!

It's bath time, but I just have to say that I'm seeing firsthand how obedience to God provides you peace.  I know, without question, that we're where God wants us.  I know that when we prayed for guidance, God provided.  And I know that if we continue to be obedient, God is going to work everything out!

Trying to let go of myself...

This afternoon was frustrating... very frustrating.  I had my pre-out appt with BK Property Management.  I knew the carpets were bad; I've already scheduled to have someone come and do them.  I knew I had to replace one set of blinds; no big deal.  But they're telling me I have to replace (or pay to replace) Nicholas' bathroom door because it has a slight crack in the molding.  I also have to acid wash (or pay to acid wash) the grout in the kitchen.

The reason why I'm so frustrated is because (1) I can already tell that they're going to nickle and dime my deposit until it's gone and (2) the company is just unprofessional.  This was appointment number two.  Appointment number one was rescheduled because they forgot it... and they forgot appointment number two, but I called to remind them when they were 15 minutes late.

But I'm trying to let go of my selfishness and focus UP.  Yes... I have a $1000 deposit that I want back.  Yes, that would cover a new refridgerator (rental house doesn't have one).  Yes, it would cover Christmas.  But it's not my money.  That's the point that I'm trying to drive home to myself.  Everything I have (or don't have) is because of God.  If HE believes that I need the money from my deposit back, then all of my hard work and elbow grease will pay off.  If HE believe that it's better for me to not recieve back the money... then I won't.  It's that simple.  So far, he has provided for EVERYTHING that we need.  Really, it's beyond amazing how good He has been to us.  When things would have been tight because of moving expenses, he gives us a super cheap PG&E bill (total shocker after the issues we've had), a discount on a rental truck, and even more things I could name.  He always supplies our needs...

So will I try to get as much back as possible?  Of course.  But I'm also really trying to trust that it's not worth getting angry or bitter or mean about... that God's will is perfect and divine and AMAZING.  When I let myself get anger, bitter, and mean... I stop being the person I want to be and the person that I want others to see.  Maybe it's time for me to show others the grace that Christ has shown me.

I just don't understand...

Seriously... what are people teaching their kids today?  The past few weeks have shown an increase media awareness of the hate crimes in our country.  Most recently, a young boy in Techachapi and a student at Rutgers committed suicide after being harassed and tormented over their sexuality.

Now I'll be completely upfront and probably loose a few friends in the process.  I believe homosexuality is wrong.  I believe that God intended physical intimacy to be between a man and a woman.  I believe what the Bible says when it terms homosexuality a sin.

I also believe the Bible when it says that sin is sin and that ALL sins are equal.  My sin of coveting my neighbor's things is no better or worse or less damning.  I've definitely lacked in the "honoring your father and mother" in my past and I'm sure I've taken the Lord's name in vain.  Which means that unless I'm going to get harrassed and socially damned for coveting my friend's house... this is all ridiculous.  We ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God.  NONE of us are flawless or perfect.  So what makes us think that we can judge someone for their choices.  Do we want to make OUR walk an open book?  I sure as heck don't.  I work daily to live my life for God but I fall short regularly and the LAST thing that is going to help me is someone treating me like crap for it. 

Fine... if you want to choose the verses of the Bible that say not to "break bread" with those who are living an ungodly lifestyle... then don't.  But trying to push your idea of what they should be through harrassment, violence, and outright cruelty is unacceptable.  When Jesus came He gave us two "new" commandments... love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind... and love your neighbor as yourself.  Is the Christian community today obeying Christ?  I'm starting to wonder...

And when it comes to kids?  Monkey see... monkey do.  Yes, kids do learn hate from other kids... but hate that is cruel often starts at a much more intimate source.  If you're saying hateful things, your kids pick up on it.

It just makes me sad.  Two sets of parents are mourning the loss of their children who should still be alive.

Today was a big day for our family!  Jon started his first day of working at Forward Advantage!  I haven't gotten a full recap, but he said via text that it was going very well!  I am SO excited!!!  I'm so excited to see where God is leading our family with this one!  We spent a lot of this summer praying, and one of the things that we prayed about was that Jon wouldn't just find a job that would get us by... but that he would find a job that could turn into a career.  I don't know what God's plan is, or if this is going to turn into a career for Jon, but I know that this is a field that Jon could definitely turn into a career!  Not to mention that he's working for an amazingly family oriented company!  They don't just "deal" with families... they embrace them!  One of the houses that we're looking at is RIGHT by the Forward Advantage office!  It would be so awesome to be able to walk over with Nicholas to have lunch with Daddy!  Nicholas even made Daddy a pencil/pen cup for his desk!!  I want to make this new job and move a family event!!
--------------------

I've started back into my Bible reading and, in the process, I've been reviewing my notes.  Back in February to May, before full time teaching, I was doing really well.  Then I started slacking and never really got back into it.  I'm trying to really get back on track now, especially because Nicholas gets into it.  When I was reading the other day, he actually came to the table and asked me to read it to him.  I was just reading Psalms but I made it sound dramatic and he seemed to enjoy it.  Then he "read" it to me (Jesus told the dinosaurs to go away, I guess that's his version of extinction, haha). 

One of the verses that really stood out to me was Job 22:21-22:

Submit to God and be at peace with Him; in this way prosperity will come to you.  Accept instruction from His mouth and lay His words in your heart.

I got a lot of things from these two little verses.  One... SUBMIT to God.  I need to work on that.  Even as I speak of being excited of our move to Fresno, I'm nervous.  We need to find a place to live in the next two weeks, we need a second car, and it's all expensive.  We're looking at having to put out a lot in the next month for deposits, rent, vehicles, and moving expenses.  I need to work on really just trusting that God wouldn't leave us hanging.  Where God guides, God provides.  Second... prosperity is not in the American sense.  It doesn't mean that God will provide me with a nice house with a white picket fence, a dog, a cat, and 2.5 children.  It means that God will supply my needs and give me the contentment that comes from a relationship with Him.  Lastly... I need to work on obeying God's will.  It's not so much that I disobey God's will, it's that I need to spend more time (much more time!) in prayer will Him so that I hear and recognize His instructions.

Anyway, I really am excited because I know that this job is part of God's plan for Jon.  It's like the song "Here I Am" where they sing "Somehow my story is a part of your plan..."  I know that God is going to find a way to use Jon at Forward Advantage.  Maybe it's just to get us closer to Christian friends... or maybe it's because there will be a job opportunity for me in Fresno.  Regardless, I need to really work on being content and trusting in His will for us!

Welcoming the Fall Season!

He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false, he will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God his Savior. Psalm 24:4-5

Fall is one of my favorite seasons!  Some people consider Spring to be the season of renewal... in some ways, it is.  That's when new flowers come up after a long winter and we see the birth of new life in so many areas of nature.  But really, I think that Fall should be a time of renewal as well.  It's the season when the old falls off and we celebrate the gifts of Spring and Summer. 

I'm looking at this season as a time for renewal and letting go... letting go of resentment, worry, and stress.  No, I'm not saying that my life will be 100% stress free... but I want to let go of worries and hand them over to God.  I want to let go of resentment and bitterness and jealousy... three things that I can feel inside me right now.  I want to spend Fall letting the resentment and bitterness fall to the ground to prepare for the growth of new opportunities.  I want clean hands and a pure heart that is open to the Will of God.

I can feel God providing renewal in my faith as well.  I can feel my faith becoming stronger.  What is so beautiful about this is that it's impacting more than just my own heart.  I can feel it bringing renewal into my marriage too... it's wonderful!  There's still so much growth to be had... I need to work on my attitude a lot.  I feel myself getting frustrated quickly and loosing patience... but I feel like Fall is the perfect time to focus on that.  I want to clean my hands and purify my heart to accept and obey the plans God has planned for me.  I don't know where He wants me to be, but I know that His plans are perfect and that there are wonderful gifts for those who obey.