No baby, but loving 1 John!

I haven't blogged in a week, and I wish I could say it's because I was busy having a baby, but no such luck.  Just as I have for the past 3 weeks, I have contractions all day (all braxton hicks of various strength) and other "signs of impending labor," but then night comes and once I lay in bed and fall asleep, it mostly calms down.  The good thing about this?  The false labor exhausts me all day so that by the time I go to bed, I actually sleep relatively well (despite getting up to pee every 1-2 hours, haha!).  God also humbled me a lot last week after I took Jon some lunch and was wishing that would be "the day."  It was a crazy day at work for him and it hit me that God isn't just planning for me to have this baby so I can get more comfortable, but that labor & delivery will be impacting MANY lives and our God is wise enough to know the best time for the overall picture, not just my selfish and self-focused desires.

We are 39 weeks today, and I keep reminding myself that before I was even created, Baby Monkey's birthday was picked out for a distinct and perfect purpose :)  I'm thankful that despite all the specialist appointments and worries, this little guy is 100% full term!  I'm also nervous that he's going to be quite a bit bigger than Nick (7 lbs 6 oz), because I've gained more weight this pregnancy and I'm bigger... but I know my body was made to do this and if God has made him a large baby, then I'm sure my body will handle it.

Our church is still going through 1 Corinthians but yesterday made a quick mid-sermon detour to 1 John and because I LOVE 1 John, I've been wanting to journal about it a bit.  I went ahead and just linked to Bible Gateway because if I copied all the scripture I want to copy from 1 John, I'd ctrl+V the entire book :)

Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness

What I love about this book is that, while convicting, it's also pretty clarifying.  Matthew 7:22-23 paints a scary picture... it tells us that many will stand before Him and say that that they knew Him and did great works in His name... and yet they will be turned away.  So how do we know if we're in that group?  How do I know if I will stand before Christ and be welcomed or sent aside?  1 John kind of goes into that.  In it, the author (not entirely clear who he is, though many say John the Apostle) says two things that always hit me hard. 

First, he talks about how if we say we're without sin, we don't have the truth (1 John 1:8-10).  We're decieving ourselves.  I like this because a major issue a lot of people have with "the church" is that it is hypocritical and arrogant... with a holier than thou attitude.  1 John tells us that those attitudes that TRY to say "I have no sin" actually mean the opposite... that you do.  If you really had the truth, you wouldn't act as if you were sinless, because you would be humble and wise enough to know that we have all sinned and all continue to sin.  I don't say that we continue IN sin, I say that we continue TO sin.  The analogy the pastor made was a good one... he used to run a lot, but he no longer does so regularly so he wouldn't want to be considered a "runner."  I may have been a drinker in the past, and it may still tempt me at times and I may stumble, but I'm no longer a "drinker."  You may have been incredibly self-focused in the past, and you may still have moments where you catch yourself doing so again, but you repent and renew your efforts to stop.  You're no longer living IN sin, but that doesn't mean that you never sin. 

The second part that always hits me hard has to do with the concept of living IN sin.  Throughout the rest of the book (which is short!) the author talks about how those who DO continue to live in sin, live in darkness.  They know OF Jesus and His sacrifice... they acknowledge it, but they don't have it inside them.  His love is complete inside those who obey His word.  Those who see His truth, take it in, and then live in out.  He says that you know if you have Him in you because when you really have Him in you, can't go on in your life of sin.  You just can't.  This is always convicting and while I hope to get closer and closer to living as Christ did as I grow, I hope it's always convicting.  There will always be parts of me that God needs to sharpen and refine... but I also know that as I grow in Christ, I will be unable to hold on to a lifestyle of greed or selfishness... because when you have Christ in you, the fruit shows.  You can't force the fruit from your heart anymore than you can force it from a tree... but you can tend to the tree and tend to your heart through a lifestyle of prayer, obedience, etc... so that the fruit grows outside of your power.

Our pastor finished with a question that I thought was pretty good.  Did you make a decision, or the decision?  Did you acknowledge what Jesus did, or did you take in it and let it change you? 

I'm NOT a Bible scholar... I don't have any training in theology and I'm forced to rely on English translations because I can't read Greek or Hebrew or Aramaic.  This isn't meant to spark debate on what 1 John means or says... it's just what's on my heart and it's what I feel when I read a powerful book in our Bible.