Today's Thankful Thursday gets to be another easy one! Today I am beyond thankful for my little man, Nicholas. He was born on May 3rd, 2007 at the Army Hospital on Ft. Wainwright. It was May but there was still a nice little bit of snow on the ground. He weighed 7 lbs, 6 oz and was 19 1/2 inches long. He felt so incredibly tiny in my arms.
Then it was time to bring him home. I remember Jon and I holding Nicholas and cuddling and crying because we were just so thankful that God had allowed us to be parents. It was hard... trying to figure out what he needed and when... needing Jon's encouragement to keep nursing even when I was bleeding and crying from pain while he nursed... living on next to no sleep. But just knowing that this entire little life was our son was indescribable.
As sad as it made me to watch him grow, it was also amazing to experience new things with him. We did a mommy & me swimming class and it was so awesome to be in the water with him, right there as he experienced something totally new in his world. As an infant, he taught me so much... he gave me lessons on endurance, patience, kindness, strength, and truly unconditional love.
He was right there with me, being such a trooper, while our family went through deployments. I will never forget coming home with him after dropping Jon off for the first deployment after he was born. We were in his room and I was sitting in the middle just very softly crying (and trying so hard to stop because I didn't want to upset Nick). The little guy crawled over, took his binkie out of his mouth, and handed it to me. Such a simple little action... but the action of a little boy who knew mommy was sad and wanted her to feel better. I am so thankful for the wonderful little heart that God has given him.
As he got even older, I found myself loosing more confidence in my ability as a mom. It seemed like it was all so easy when he was a baby... feed, change, hold, cuddle, love... and you're a great mom! Then it's stress over talking, learning colors, shapes, numbers, and who knows what else... is he doing enough so far? What should I be working with him on? All the other kids know their letters but does he? Oh no! But I'm slowing starting to be thankful for another lesson Nicholas has taught me: He's God's son who will do things on God's time for him. If there's anything in the world that has strengthened my faith, it has been parenting, because it has forced me to give the most important life in my life back to God because he isn't really mine to begin with. So far at least, everything that I worried about turned out to be nothing... he talked later than others, but is very smart. I couldn't teach him his letters, but within 2 weeks of being in preschool he knew them all. I'm so thankful that God gave him a great memory and ability to learn!
As he grows we learn more about his personality... he loves cars, trucks, and dinosaurs. He looks a lot like Daddy but acts a lot like me. He's extremely close to both of us, but is also independent. He loves going to church and learning his memory verses. His love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. He loves to dance and sing and anything to do with music. He's stubborn and wants to do things without help. I am so thankful for each new little thing that we learn about him, because it reminds me that he is a unique creation... not a cookie cutter 4-year old that I can parent by reading books. He has bad days... days where he doesn't want to share or where he's ultra sensitive or whiny... but his good days far outshine those.
This is getting VERY long, so I'll just stop to say that I couldn't be more thankful for my son. It's hard and I second guess nearly every parenting decision I make, but he fills my heart with love and joy every day. He allows me to experience life through his innocent eyes and reminds me that there is a Creator who still has faith in our world. As we get ready to welcome #2 sometime in the next month or so, I'm thankful that Baby Monkey gets such a wonderful little guy to be his brother.
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